Chris Colohan Is A Fucking Genius

Chris Colohan is a fucking genius.

I don't really think there are many people who have been into hardcore in the last ten years or so who would dispute that statement, and there's good reason for it - everything the man touches is total gold. Looking Colohan's musical history is like looking at a list of some of the best bands of the last decade - The Swarm, Left for Dead, Ruination, Cursed, and Fucked Up just to name a few. I feel like Haymaker and Chokehold were also Colohan bands, but I could be wrong.

Left for Dead is absolutely one of my favorite bands ever - their Eat Shit LP is one of the most berserk live recordings I've ever heard. The very first song - "Who D'You Know?," is just a total encapsulation of everything that's great about hardcore - an insane, grinding buzzsaw guitar riff, with a breakdown that is absolutely perfect - heavy as hell, but not falling into the "meathead" category. And let's not forget the lyrics...

"Sick of your attitude
Sick of you
Your social clubs
Your flavour of the month
I don't care you know
You don't know shit
Fuck your popularity contest
I wanna see a murder contest
Why are you even here?
Who do you know
And who fucking cares?"

It sounds like this show was an insane experience - there are fireworks being set off during the opener, as well as a few other songs. One of my favorite moments on a live album ever also takes place during "Who D'You Know?," as well; during the repetition of the line "I don't care who you know," someone manages to get up to this mic. He is right up in the mix for the first half of the line, but as he hangs on to the "know" in the lyric, it literally sounds like he's falling into a pit. He fades away - I'm sure he just moved away from the microphone but is still getting picked up, but it seriously comes off sounding like "KNOWWWwwwwwwwwwwwww" like the the dude is falling into some chasm or something.

Basically, the record is punishing, heavy, and insane from start to finish.



Left for Dead's brother, sonically speaking, is definitely The Swarm. Parasitic Skies basically sounds like a Left for Dead record - punishingly fast, chaotic, but still retaining the heaviness that slower moments like "God's Little Acre" display. The album also has my favorite straightedge songs ever, "On Our Knees," which is twenty-five seconds of the words "I don't want it" and "I don't need it" being screamed at desperation volumes over a blistering riff. The album has some metal moments, too - "Upside Your Head" is reminiscent of bands such as Entombed. "Monopolized Reality For The Maintenance Of Order" is a genuinely disturbing spoken-word detail of a subway suicide.

Ruination finds Colohan in a slightly more punk-rock influenced mode; it's easy to see where the inspiration to join Fucked Up came in when you listen to this band. The songs are more rock-ish, and that might be why I've never been able to get into the band that much.

Cursed is the Chris Colohan vehicle with the most mileage attached to it, and with good reason. Dark, brooding, and raw, Cursed is definitely one of the best bands of the last few years. Metalcore without the makeup and "mosh parts," Cursed combines the best parts of the two genres to create something that is equal parts Black Flag and Entombed. Most purists would pick One as their favorite record, but when I was in England I absolutely fell in love with Two. For me, it's Colohan's masterpiece - the songwriting is most polished, and the mood is even darker, as if that were even possible. The production is also a little more fleshed out on Two, still dirty and stripped down, but a little more professional than on its predecessor. Lyrically, Two is possibly the darkest and most honestly disturbing hardcore record I've ever heard. Cursed is almost set to release their third LP, titled (ready for it?) Three, and there's a couple tracks up to check out on the Goodfellow Records myspace. That, along with Blacklisted's new full-length, are the two records that I'm most looking forward to in 2008.



Chris Colohan is a genius. A fucking genius.